Police tell drivers to lie in tongue-in-cheek safety message

Boss, sorry I’m late, but . . . I, uh, got a flat tire. Yeah, that’s the ticket! Honest boss, and here’s the tire.

Or, perhaps . . .

My husband used my car yesterday, didn’t put in any gas and now my hands are covered in it. Here, smell my hands.

With a little imagination and a few props, London Ontario Traffic Sgt. Tom O’Brien says drivers can eliminate the stress of being late and risking lives of children headed back to school next week.

“Rather than drive aggressively to be on time and endanger other road users in the process, lie,” said O’Brien, tongue firmly in cheek.

“If you’re running late, police want drivers to calm down, obey the rules of the road then lie if necessary to save face with the boss, client, etc., who has been slightly inconvenienced in your tardiness.”

Along with that advice, O’Brien even offered a few suggestions.

• Go to the junk yard, get an old “flat” tire, throw it in the trunk or back seat and before entering the office, rub your hands all over it to offer evidence of your struggle to change a tire.
• Dab just a little amount of gasoline on your hands, then blame your significant other for leaving the vehicle “empty” and forcing you to push the car to the nearest gas station, or walk with a gas can.

-- Same excuse as above but you had to call a tow truck because the gas station was too far away.

• Have a pair of pants with the knees torn out of them to explain that on the way to work you saw someone pushing their vehicle and while helping them push you slipped, scraped your knee, ruined your pants and had to return home to change.
• Buy a realistic arm cast, keep it in the glove box, slip it on — presto instant hospital visit.

“We just want to encourage everyone to adjust their departure time so you can arrive safe and on time,” said O’Brien.

“Sure, police don’t normally encourage anyone to lie, but if it leads to safer roads, then get making that list of excuses.”

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